Some vignettes of the week to illustrate my day-to-day life and the role that race, class, gender (nationality, sexuality, age, and religion) play – and why I haven’t been able to post in a week and why this is so long, sorry, and thanks for checking in:

I interviewed a volunteer who tutors English to refugees. For two hours, we ate apple dumplings and drank coffee at the Frying Pan as she told me the long version of how she came to volunteer with “New Americans.” This woman is from a tiny town in Minnesota, attended the 1965 National Women’s Convention in Houston, Texas where “people like Gloria Steinheim” influenced her, and lived in Eastern Europe for four years as an English teacher after she retired from working at a local college. She told me it was one of the most enjoyable interviews she has done. The next day, I interviewed a male volunteer for one hour. He was well-educated, not from the Midwest, and told me he would have enjoyed the interview more if the questions had been more specific. He taught criminal justice for 30 years and said he prefers numbers and structure over open-ended questions. Some people actually prefer surveys, but is just not my style.

A married man and father of four, hit on me as I tutored him in English and citizenship. We saw each other at the club on Friday night, and said hi to one another. When I went to his house the next day for tutoring, his wife and kids were not there (as they usually are), and he asked me if I had fun at the club, who I went with, and if I had a boyfriend. I told him I went with friends and had fun. He told me we could start going to the club together, but we won’t tell his wife. I looked at him, shook my head, and asked him for how many years a U.S. Senator is elected. He didn’t proposition me again and I continued with my lesson. If he does proposition me again, then he will have to find a new tutor.

For three fast hours, I spoke (in English) with a Bosnian woman about her life, politics, kids, taxes, day-to-day life in the U.S., power relationships between New Americans and ND-born citizens, how mean Americans in Fargo are, how much she abhors Gypsies, how hard she and her husband worked to learn English and buy a modest house in the U.S. and how hard it is to say good-bye to a country you do not want to leave. Typical of people from the Balkans, this woman spoke loud and fast with plenty of gestures and facial expressions. At one point, a large white guy came over to say how much he liked her gestures which reminded him of his mother.

Next day: I went to meet a Bosnian man. I arrived at his apartment building about 10 minutes early and I was so tired that I decided to take a quick nap in the car. A minute after I closed my eyes, there was a tap on my window. He had seen me arrive through his 14th floor apartment window and came to greet me. We drank diet Coke as he chain-smoked and told me about his life in the former Yugoslavia, his views on different political economic systems (every system has pros and cons), the two years he fought in the (1992-95) war, and how after 7 years of nothing but loneliness and work in the United States, he found true love with an American woman. He now loves life and catering to his girlfriend’s every need – something he admittedly would never do in Bosnia “because the mentality is different there.” He cried several times during the discussion. After 10 years in the U.S., and no knowledge of English before he came, he got his citizenship last fall.

Finally, I’ve been wanting to showing a friend of mine that I can cook something she will like. I decided to go with what I know best so I made veggie lasagna. That night my friend was tired because she started a new job and worked 9 hours that day so she stayed on the couch and talked on the phone as her 10-year-old daughter instructed me on what else I needed to make for dinner: cheeseburgers, mac&cheese, smoothies, a dessert, and, and, and. After some discussion, I agreed to make smoothies and hamburgers too. But they didn’t have ingredients for smoothies so the girl started crying until I agreed to take her to the store, where she also asked me to buy her other things. In the end, four kids sat down to eat (girl, boy and boy’s two friends), and no one liked the smoothies because they weren’t sweet enough. Nonetheless, the boy and his two friends, all of whom are notoriously picky eaters, ate and liked the lasagna. Mission accomplished. My friend was impressed and joked with me how tired I must be after all that cooking.

I find it endlessly fascinating how factors like race, class, gender, nationality, language, age, religion, history, politics, economy, and culture overlap to create situations and interactions like those above and how they determine how an individual feels about and responds to his/her community, country, neighbors, co-workers, government, etc. And while there are some general patterns, individuals act in ways that cannot be clearly predicted or prescribed and I love that too!! Anyone else out there excited about this like me? Let’s hear it!